***You started living in a new room/apartment; there is a big wardrobe in your living room. You don’t want that in your living room because it is making your room look shabby also its presence is kind of annoying to you.
So, you decide to move it: pushed it with all your might= the wardrobe didn’t move even an inch. You hurt your hands many times while trying to move it. Then you looked around to find the reason why it wasn’t moving? And you see that the wardrobe is nailed to ground from the bottom & to the wall behind. You now realize that removing this wardrobe will then cause ten different problems. Obviously, you’re not going to find another apartment for this because the rest of the room is lovely, the view outside the window is beautiful also the neighbors are amazing & fun. So What would you do with this wardrobe coz its presence is somewhat frustrating.
You made yourself calm down and thought for some alternative…and got an idea! about using it for different purpose for storage/you hung a mirror on it so it can help you get dressed..etc. Now, that same wardrobe is no more a burden to you. That alternative idea that you thought helped you to make your way out.***
Reason for such example??
Actually in real life, we all (almost) have witnessed such situation where there is a person instead of that wardrobe around us (maybe in family/ workplace..etc.) who have RIGID MENTALITY. These people have a type of thought process that is impossible to change, they will remain the way they are and will not care about you even for few seconds.
These people can never: be wrong, apologetic, adaptable, satisfied, understanding..etc.
But, will always be: criticizing, nagging, dominating, annoying….etc.
They can never adjust in a situation and will want everything to be done in just their own way. These people literally becomes the mood spoiler; they have the talent to frustrate/ annoy anyone to the point where that person might even try to hurt himself to reduce the stress being given by that person.
When you have such kind of person in your life (especially when that someone is close to you): there will be changes in your behaviour like, always staying angry, becoming short-tempered, you might start to prefer keeping your thoughts/opinion to your own-self, become less conscious about yourself..etc And the most visible sign: An almost permanent frown on your face.
Unfortunately, Here I can’t give you any hope that the person will change himself especially if he is a grown up because for him “he is Better than the Best.” But, Fortunately I got ways that can give 100% guarantee that you will be fine even you are surrounded by such people only!
- First and a Very Basic Advice: Talk to them, tell them what is bothering you and their behaviour that is annoying to you.
- Leave When its Silly: If you see that the thing is silly or unimportant don’t extend any argument on it with that person. Just carry on with your work and leave them alone.
- Eye Contact: Make your point with a confident eye contact and a firm voice. This will decrease the stamina they have to frustrate someone.
- Save your Energy by Not Being Louder: They will definitely be using loud voice to make their point but don’t let your voice go louder instead when they are shouting go silent you will see that they will them-self loose energy and become quiet; now in your normal voice tone make your point with a strong eye contact (this one is really effective and is based on facts)
- Reduce your Interaction Time: If its your friend/ classmate/ colleague then keep your interaction limited to school/ playground/ workplace such that they don’t get some more time to annoy you.
- Do Activities that can Help you to Stay Calm for longer periods: like take walks (taking fresh oxygen is very helpful), read, listen relaxing music, play any sport, musical instrument, do exercise..etc. anything that can keep your mind cool.
Keep this in mind that,“Arguing with a Fool makes Two”. So, always understand the importance of a matter (save your energy & time).
You don’t need such toxic people, that makes your life a living hell. Never hesitate to remove them even when their departure leaves you all alone.
I know dealing with them is not that easy but is also not impossible. You will always have to make yourself calm down and think for some alternative because spoiling your personality and life for that person isn’t worth it. The time and days that we are gifted everyday must be lived rightly and should not let such people to spoil the essence of it.
Toxic People are like
Poison: they get Better
at being The Worst
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